The Grief That Waits in Silence: How to Recognize the Loops That Keep You Stuck
- aprillkincaid
- May 20
- 5 min read
Updated: May 29
Some grief doesn’t knock when it arrives. It slides in quietly, like a ninja assassin.
It settles into the body and waits. It doesn’t rush. It doesn’t demand attention. You don’t even realize it is there…It waits for stillness. It waits for safety. It waits for you to stop.
This realization came to me in an unguarded moment, in the quiet space that opened when I stopped trying to figure it all out. Even though I feel like my vibration keeps rising and I am experiencing frequent timeline shifts, I have also been feeling out of rhythm for weeks, like something beneath the surface was tripping me up.
And it isn’t just my vibration I’ve been picking up. The energy surrounding all of us has been so volatile. Solar flares, frequency spikes, and planetary pressure have been moving through the collective field. These events aren’t random disruptions. They are purifiers. They shake loose what we’ve managed to keep buried. Old grief, stored timelines, ancestral residue, unspoken emotion. All of it rises when the field gets this loud.
Why? Because Mother Earth is physically (vibrationally) ascending. Its frequency is shifting. She is purging, and attempting to release density as well. And if we’re going to rise with with her, we cannot keep holding onto what was never meant to be ours to carry. The density of the past is incompatible with the light we’re stepping into. So it comes up. Not to break us. To be released.
That’s exactly what happened to me the other night. I found myself speaking out loud to my friend, Amanda, that I lost earlier this year. It began gently, just a few words about something funny from work... Then something cracked. A flood came in. Not from memory, but from the body. I had mourned her in theory. I had processed some of it. I mean, logically, I believe death is a beautiful transition, so I didn’t realize there was anything left to release. I just thought I would continue to carry that ache with me until I see that smile again. But apparently, the rest had waited. And in that moment, I let her come to me. I told her how much she meant to me. How sad I was to see her go, and how I miss being able to reach out anytime I wanted. I missed her big beautiful blue eyes, and her no nonsense attitude, and the way her voice cracked when she truly showed her emotion.
That’s when I recognized the pattern. My grief is not linear. It’s like a Fibonacci sequence. I don’t grieve in real-time. I grieve in echoes. Months or even years after a person, a season, or a dream has left my life. Not because I am disconnected, but because the body is wise. It’s cyclical. It knows when it’s safe enough to feel. It waits until the field opens, and it aligns with the universe to allow the release.
Maybe you do this too.
Maybe the thing you’ve been calling a shutdown, or a fog, or a loss of direction is actually a signal. Not that something is wrong. But that something old is finally ready to leave.
If you are in that space, I want you to know you’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re remembering.
Recognizing the Echo Pattern
Some of us grieve late on purpose. The soul needs time. The system needs space.
If you’ve been feeling off long after a relationship ended, a loved one passed, or a part of yourself changed shape, there’s a good chance the grief didn’t finish when you thought it did.
That doesn’t mean you’re holding on. It means your body was holding it for you, until now.
Ask yourself:
Did I keep moving out of necessity when that ending happened?
Did I say goodbye with my words, but not my heart?
Have I been stuck in patterns I can’t explain?
Do I feel like I’m circling something I can’t quite name?
This isn’t dysfunction. It’s sacred timing.
Why We Loop
Grief doesn’t always show up as sadness. It can appear as fatigue. Numbness. Procrastination. Resistance. Mood swings. Compulsions. Or, a sudden disconnection from the things that usually light you up.
The loop is not the problem. The loop is the messenger.
What keeps us circling is not the event. It’s the unacknowledged imprint left behind. When we finally recognize the loop, we stop trying to escape it. We start listening to what it’s asking us to feel.
How to Shift It
You do not have to fix it. You do not have to fully understand it. You just have to open the door.
Here is one way to begin:
Light a candle
Speak aloud the name of what or who you lost, even if it was a version of yourself
Touch your heart with warm water and say, I am ready to feel what I could not before
Sit. stay. Listen. Let whatever rises be welcome
Close the space with reverence, not resistance
This is not performance. This is presence.
Your Body Keeps the Score
Whether it’s been five months or five years, your body remembers what your mind was too busy or too overwhelmed to process.
That remembering is sacred. It is not regression. It's release.
These recent energetic waves-solar storms, emotional spikes, planetary alignments—they are not accidental. They are divine invitations. They are shaking loose the grief we hid so well we forgot it was there.
This isn’t just emotional weight. It’s outdated vibration. And right now, the Universe is clearing the collective field so we can rise without it.
You are not being punished. You are being prepared.
When you go inward-when you stop running from the heaviness and actually sit with what’s stirring-you don’t just heal. You expand.
You gain clarity. You reclaim power. You restore trust in yourself. You create the inner spaciousness to hold more of what you actually want.
The friends that really know me, know I love my solitude. I highly recommend it. Going within doesn’t isolate you. It reunites you—with your truth, with your intuition, and with the quiet guidance that never left.
It makes you stronger, softer, and more sovereign.
The timing of your grief is precise. Because it is not only about the past. It is about the future.
What rises now is rising to be alchemized.
You are shedding what cannot go with you.
Your pain has a purpose, and that purpose is liberation.
If you are feeling heavy...good. That means something is finally ready to be lifted. Let it move. Let it go. Let it rise. Celebrate it’s release. Your grief isn’t late. It’s right on time. Because so are you.
Offerings for When You’re Ready to Go Deeper
If you’re sitting in the middle of one of these loops and you don’t know how to walk yourself out, I created two sessions to hold you as you move through it.
The Pattern Breaker
A fast-acting energetic intervention for moments when you feel like you’re circling the same emotional block without resolution. This offering is a blend of intuitive insight, subtle body reset, and ritual closure.
The Ancestral Gate
This is for grief that didn’t start with you. This session honors the inherited patterns that live in your cells, helping you close loops that have traveled through bloodlines. It’s not just healing-it’s re-coding.